Most blogs, I write after wrestling with a question and working it out in my heart and mind a little. Today, I’m mid-struggle. This time, I would enjoy getting YOUR perspective. Help me get “unstuck”.
I’ve felt for some time that I’m in a kind of tug-of-war between “here and now” and whatever it is next. (Sure, aren’t we all… right?! That’s why I’m bringing this to you.) Some days I have dreams. Other days I can’t see past the moment. I want to be “in” each moment, savoring all that’s good about where I am right now, but am I missing opportunities that the world needs me to see? When is it time to step outside my current head-space — from what is — to see what could be! (I realize I just opened myself up big-time big-time for jokes about my “head space” – so go ahead and have fun with that for a second. Okay, that’s enough.)
I’ve always been of the opinion that when I’m supposed to take a next step, it will be obvious. I’ll just know. That’s the way it has always happened for me before. But is that really true?? Am I missing some important mission because I’m looking at it all wrong?
Now, after savoring Don Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years for weeks – months, even – I’m still trying to figure out what the “main character” in my story wants! And who IS the main character?? Is it even me? Don’s words call to my inner writer with parallels between the elements of a great story and my own real life story. I keep finding myself asking… “What am I DOING here?!” I always look at whatever I’m doing as training ground for the next thing, yet I don’t want to get sidetracked and become less useful in what my life requires of me right now.
I get ideas, some are good ones and others questionable. All of them sit around collecting dust… waiting. I don’t share them, for lots of reasons. Don’t even know who can be trusted with them. But how else will I know which ideas will amount to anything (not just materially, but in impact)? And… here comes the big question… what will I say “no” to in order to say “yes”?! Will it be worth it? That question is scary and uncomfortable.
I’ve grown SO tired of the cliche “getting out of your comfort zone” — it feels a little guilt-ridden to me. But then, could it BE that I hate that phrase simply because I am enthralled with safety? I don’t think that’s it, UNTIL I start considering what the adventure might look like. What if it turned everything I know on its ear? Truth is, it might.
Then we have issues of validation (and by “we” of course, I mean “I”). Is there a need for validation driving my quest for whatever is next? Or was I BORN for it and it’s all part of my mission? Will taking a step somehow express that I am ungrateful for where I am now and the fulfillment I currently enjoy – as a writer, as a wife, as a mom, as a worshipper and overall person? How does a person manage to be “content in whatever state we’re in…” yet seek to deepen and enrich the impact we’re making on our world? I want to reach for the next chapter of this grand story!
Readers, I need your experience here. When have you been in this place and how did you get unstuck? Or am I really stuck at all? Could all these questions bring me back to the realization that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be? Talk to me.