I texted 90999 to donate to the Red Cross, then sat helplessly staring at my screen wondering what else to do. Now I watch the pictures of unspeakable heartache. I hear reports of the countless thousands who are not yet accounted for or confirmed dead. I hear about thoughtless comments – even some from those who consider themselves religious leaders – and their insensitive accusations make me cringe.
I want to wake up tomorrow and learn that it was all a horrible nightmare. Or that maybe it wasn’t as bad as we thought. But the pictures don’t lie. And it’s more horrible than I could’ve ever imagined. I’m just so sorry.
As I pull up the covers tonight and listen to my healthy husband breathing safe and sound beside me, it makes my stomach tighten inside me to even think of how I would cope if this home became a pile of sticks and his life was snuffed out in a brief moment.. then add to that the loss my church, neighbors, community and every other familiar piece of my life. I really cannot think of waving goodbye to my children as they left for the school bus and never seeing them again because their school collapsed on them. But that is exactly what happened to scores and scores of individuals just like me today. Just because some miles separate us and I haven’t met them doesn’t in any way make their suffering less important. I can’t help but feel a sense of guilt that my life is moving along as always while others’ came to a screeching halt.
I am reminded with every image that each face… each hand reaching out for help… each lifeless body… each bleeding wound or crying mother…every single soul shaken by this monumental catastrophe is a human being of inexpressible value. Just because you were found beneath rubble – or perhaps haven’t yet been found at all – in NO WAY diminishes all that your life has meant to your Creator. He fashioned you… loves you… and I know He must weep for you tonight.
Only our infinite Creator could salvage anything good from the pile of rubble that was once your capital city. But then, who would have believed He could turn the cruel crucifixion of His own Son into a beautiful redemption story that has meant life and hope to generation after generation?! I don’t understand Him or claim to be able to see past this awful moment in time. I just know that He promised to be “an ever-present help in trouble…” As helpless as most of us feel who can’t be there with you now, there’s just something about talking about all this with the only One who CAN, in the same moment, be there with you. May He somehow whisper peace and undeniable confirmations of His love to you in this dark hour.